ADAM LEVINE my definition of umph! his voice is AMAZING, his body is SUPER AMAZING,  i’ve been crushing him since from their album “songs about jane” until now… not only ‘coz he’s a hunk but also their songs pierce through me… how i wish have the chance to meet him person! 

this was on my ipod a few nights ago so i decided to put it on cyberspace,and it goes like this: 

it’s around 3’o clock in the morning and still fumbling that i cannot bother myself to find a pc and take this out on my blogsite. there is alot been going through my mind lately and one of it is whether to accept the offer of a 3yr contract in “SK” why not? i may be hitting alot of things in 1 stone:

• will not be a free loader anymore. (hooray! that would make my ‘rents happy aight?)
• new experience, new friends and probably new me?
• it’s a lot of cash we’re talking here. (yeah am rich! still hoping..) and lastly
• i would be able to mend my broken heart again, free from all the pains and if ever that my crazy side would like to do hideous thing to budge that person life, i can’t( should really try this stupidity madness over a guy!)

so here am i indulging all the possibilities but why can’t i simply take it right? 3 yrs is not that long… i mean i could do lot of things in that span of time as the saying goes ” time heals almost evertything” and it will teach us new things.  though i may not be able to see or be w/ my friends hey i need to grow up and fast, am getting older for crying out loud!  am not afraid of going alone in a new land am good on taking care of my self you know. here am i in the wee of hour thinking of having a drink that could least stop this non-sensery that am about to do a reckless thing in my whole life that i myself could only blame if i mess this up (i’ve got nothin’ lose right?)  and while am screed-ing my thought through my ipod and felt like a sore loser. GOODBYE i need to get out! 

i’m done trying to get your forgiveness, i’m burning the bridge that reminded me of you and our memories. no longer will i drown in tears… 

it’s already 1 o’clock in the afternoon, kinda had my lunch w/ my li’l bro though he’ll be going somewhere, so here am i stuck in our condo for awhile. i should probably watch tons of anime by now but here am i typing what’s been bothering me for a while now. i have no one to turn to, so please cyberspace bear w/ me. 

excuse me if i have to blurt out here my thoughts:

• can someone really make out w/o feeling anything, is it always ” i hate you but i want you kind of thing” ~ urhg! hypocrites!
• “i feel something between us two, so let’s have a non commitment relationship and enjoy what we have.” ~ really? uh it’s like you’ve given someone a false hope; can you not make out your mind? Please!
• why can’t you just have a honest non commitment relationship like: ” hey i really like this girl but i can’t be w/ her so am stuck w/ you. “ that way no more false hope, yeah truth hurts a lot actually but a least you’re not leading her on to something that can make a person go wild. 
• “let just be friends” sure let’s do that, pretend like nothing happen, i could do that been there anyway but why the sudden awkwardness, aren’t you man enough?

since i’ve been keeping this thoughts in my head, trying not to offend other people and coz am shallow and i know that someone may find these nonsense and i been just ranting here in tumblr, i really should get back to reality and find myself a nice dessert before my “emo” alter ego wake from the dead and ruin my day. so lets  have a nice weekend everyone.